There is No Past
by feelinglikeblue
Summary: A love triangle between Roger, Mark, and Mimi. Plus, a more in depth look at Mimi's hidden past. Will have more chapters, and constructive criticism consistently welcome.
1. A New Beginning

It was Christmas Day. The party in the apartment had subsided at 3 in the morning. Roger couldn't believe that Mimi, his Mimi, was still alive. He had made up for those previous months where he left her here in the city of neon and chrome. "Roger?" He heard her say in the middle of his train of thoughts. God he loved the way she said his name. He gently picked her up and brought her to his bed where he lay her down close to him. Mimi curled into Roger's chest, hearing his steady heartbeat and relaxing. She started to drift to sleep. "Mimi?" She felt Roger nudge her. Her eyes fluttered open as she made a little moaning noise. He smiled and looked into her beautiful eyes. It seemed as though everything about her was beautiful. "I just wanted to tell you I love you." He says. She sighs contentedly and brings her face close to his. They kiss softly before she nuzzles back into Roger's chest. Roger holds her and strokes her long brown lion's mane until he falls asleep with her.

The next morning, Mimi wakes up next to Roger. She smiles happily, and sneaks out of the room to make breakfast. Thanks to Collins, she can make pancakes this morning with actual chocolate chips. Toward the end of her cooking she hears a yawn and a slightly panicked Roger whispering, "Meems? Where are you?" He comes out to the kitchen to find her still in one of his old band shirts from last night and putting breakfast onto plates. His face relaxes into a grin, "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you-" Mimi cuts him off with a big kiss. She strokes the side of his face with her thumb and murmurs, "Good morning sleepyhead." Roger replies by grabbing her ass and kissing her slowly down her neck, leaving a couple of bite marks. Mark stumbles in to find Mimi and Roger entangled in each other on the couch. "Hey guys? How bout later when I'm not here?" Mimi giggles while Roger groans and shoots Mark a look. Mark shrugs and grabs a pancake. "Is anyone else going to eat them?" He asks. Mimi nods. "I rather eat you." Roger whispers to her jokingly with a wink. Mimi laughs hysterically and grabs herself a pancake. "What?" Mark asks upset. He was always in on Roger's inside jokes. Mimi couldn't replace him... Right? Roger gives Mark a hug. "It's nothing. Really." Roger and Mark sit down at the island in their kitchenette. Mimi wraps her arms around Roger and gives him a peck on the cheek. "Well I'm going to check my apartment, call me if you want more food." She sighs and goes down to her apartment. Shit, this place is really gross. She regrets not going back to it sooner. Then she remembers what she's really here to clean up. She walks slowly to the bed, shaking. There is a cardboard box underneath her bed. The needles and packets of previous drugs are all here. Where she left them. She shudders remembering the rehab. All white walls. A sterile prison. However the worst thing by far was those lonely nights when the sweating and shaking would get so bad her teeth would clack together and no one would come to hold her. Roger's smell would pass her like a storm cloud. She would cry nightly for the one man in the world who made her feel like she was more than her drugs and her dancing. In an act of rashness, Mimi throws the drugs out of the window and the needles shatter. She smiles a hollow smile and continues to clean the rest of her apartment.

Later that day, Roger comes down to Mimi's department. He pauses for a moment at the window before entering. "Hey Meems." He says. Her eyes light up as she rushes to him and hugs him round the neck, "Rog! Where's Marky?" He pouts a little, "I come down here for some fun, and that's what you ask?" They laugh. "I'm sorry baby," She flashes a dangerously sexy smile, "I meant, do you wanna dance?" Roger smirks. "Much better."


	2. Drugs and Hurt

The next week, Roger brought Mimi to the doctor's to make sure she was okay. He still couldn't believe she was still alive. He had already left her pale and thin once, and he didn't want to see her like that again. He couldn't help thinking that she was the one for him. What else could've brought them together a year ago? She made him so happy. Going out of the house and visiting friends was now routine where once it never took place. Mimi and the doctor were talking for a long time. Worried, he walks in and sees a smiling Mimi happy as can be. "Oh hey babe!" She says enthusiastically, "The doctor was just telling me I needed to take some new vitamins and that I look good."

Roger sighs in relief, "Thank god."

The doctor says, "Excuse me sir, can we talk outside for a moment?"

"Well sure doc."

Outside, the doctor whispers, "So she's fine. Her HIV is still HIV. However, you do need to keep a good eye on her. I noticed she has kicked her drug habit, and you need to make sure she stays that way. She will live longer if she stays away from now on."

"Awesome, thanks doc." Roger says softly. He reenters the room where Mimi's sitting and swinging her legs.

"Ready?" She asks.

"Let's go." He replies. They walk out of the clinic hand in hand.

That night in bed, after they "dance". Mimi feels restless. "Roger, what did the doctor tell you today?"

He turns away. "Come on baby, tell me" she says hovering over him, "Maybe I'll let you do that last thing again." He turns back toward her and sees the love and concern in her face.

"When and why did you start doing smack Meems?"

Offended she sits up, "Rog, I've been-"

"I know Meems just answer the question."

"It happened just a little before I escaped home. My mama was a single mom. She used to-" She paused, as though the memory alone caused her pain. "She was an alcoholic. She'd come home and cry about my father. She'd wake up my baby sister who'd cry from the shock. You can't build love on tears, Rog. It drove me crazy. I started usin'. My mama caught me. She got mad. I ran." Her poker face shifted as a tear went down her face. "I couldn't stop. Whenever I did, I thought I'd die. The rehab... I rather die in a place where I at least felt semi-free. I was planning to die for you... I was planning to die because you left." Roger moves to hold her in his arms, playing gently with her hair the way she liked.

"Babe, the doctor asked me to make sure you weren't using anymore," he whispers softly into her hair. She stiffens a bit, but relaxes when he says, "But I know I can trust your judgement."

"Why did you start usin' Rog?"

"Meems, I-" She looked at him with her tearstained eyes. Regrettedly, he began, "April loved it. Once when I got hurt and was really in pain, she gave me one of her needles. We shared it. Little did we know we also shared the virus. Then she killed herself when she found out and... I got clean. I needed truth. I needed love. And I got it." He smiles and kisses her on her forehead. She kisses him back, softly, and lays back on his chest.

"Rog?"

"Yeah Meems?"

"I think out of everybody, we're the lucky ones."


End file.
